I think it’s safe to say that 2020 wasn’t an awesome year for a large portion of the global population. I don’t need to go into a long winding rant about all the negative whatevers the Coronavirus has caused–you already know. However, it can certainly be argued that it was a year of self-reflection and quite possibly even personal development.
Full disclaimer: 2019 and 2020 were the two worst years of my entire life. Surprisingly, 2019 was even worse than 2020, but that’s not important. What’s important is that when life sucks out your soul that you are able to look back on all the horrible things that happened and learn from them. It’s hard to do this in the midst of your own personal storm, and that’s okay. While you are the star of your own movie, you aren’t always going to be a shining star. All that matters is that you eventually get it together and hopefully make a positive impact on those you encounter. With that being said, let’s get started on all the psychological musings that come from my head.
Own your baggage. Yeah, you did it. Whoops. Yeah, that’s a shortcoming of yours. Yup, you said and did that really embarrassing thing. It happened. It’s cool. Really. Everyone else has baggage too. Just make sure to inspect your baggage and unpack it accordingly.
Sensitivity is a strength. It is a quiet strength to intuitively sense and comprehend what is happening around you. You are not crazy or weird.
Every person has a story. Invest in people who have stories that contain humanity and character development. Allow yourself to be captivated by those who embody traits in a Brene Brown book.
People in your life are not always meant to be your cheerleader. It is good to be pushed by someone to be a better version of yourself, even if it seems annoying. Let people lovingly call you out. These are the people who will help you skyrocket into your fullest potential.
It’s okay to believe in God. You don’t need to defend yourself, and others don’t need to believe. Your job is just you and your personal relationship with that which is bigger than yourself. Don’t be scared or embarrassed about this, but don’t be an obnoxious zealot, either.
In the political sandstorm that The Current Year has become, keep in mind that there are lots of issues that are best viewed as a gray area. You don’t have to have all the answers, and your opinions will shift with the more that you know. You weren’t born knowing everything. Cut yourself some slack. Entertain diverse opinions. You don’t have to agree or disagree with everything, but you don’t need to share this with everyone, either.
If your life is totally stress free, you are probably checked out. This isn’t completely bad for a short period of time, but you need to be pushed. You are meant to evolve. Take a short break if you need to and then get back to it.
That thing you REALLY REALLY wanted and didn’t get will turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. If you were looking for a sign from the universe, here it is.
A spiritual awakening is absolutely real, and it will often be triggered by the most unlikely people and circumstances. Let the mind boggling events in your life change you for the better.
The most memorable people and experiences might not be in your photos.
Just because you’re nice doesn’t mean you have to be sorry. The world’s problems are not your problems.
Time is the best closure. The most impressive apology and goodbye will not make things feel any better. Sit with the uncomfortableness and know that it will not be this way forever.
The best revenge is to calmly walk away, assess the situation, level up, and never look back. Don’t even post about this on your social media. Tell no one. Let your improved state of being be the ultimate flipping of the bird.
Stop being so judgmental when meeting new people. You aren’t a peach, either. Give people a chance. People have lots of layers…like onions. Not everyone is a Golden Retriever at first sight.
The older you get, the more boring you will become. There is a hidden beauty in controlling your spending and feeling sore from working out more. Being productive is an excellent dopamine rush. Yes, even if it is boring and uncomfortable and you wish you could do that unhealthy self-indulgent thing you really like to do.
It’s more important to be content with yourself than it is to be professionally successful. When picking jobs, the less flashy company will more often give you peace of mind. Your benefits package might be laughable, but if you don’t wake up each morning wishing you were eaten by tigers, you win. Consider that a priceless benefit.
Tell people how much you really value them. Do it right now. The amount of time you have with others is the most unpredictable thing there is. You can transform someone’s life with just one kind statement. Really.
There are only a handful of things worse than to lose someone who is on your team.
Since you are a sum of the five people you spend the most time with, you should make sure they aren’t going to bring you down.
One of the most underrated love languages is to just accept people for who they are.
The questions and declarations that are not answered often tell you everything you need to know. The same applies for the answers of questions. Look for what isn’t said. The song “Kindly Unspoken” comes to mind. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.
It is an art form to be curious and not be eternally inquisitive. Be content with not knowing everything.
If you are capable of “soul peeking”, don’t exploit what you see. If you are able to see someone’s hidden secrets, cherish this. If their secrets are truly ugly, just gently set them free. Say nothing to them about what you really know. When people engage in power struggle games, no one wins.
You are probably a lot better looking and an overall cooler person than you think you are. Get out of your own head. Stop beating yourself up.
The less overall alcohol consumption you have in your life, the better. Always. No, I’m not referring to the nightly glass of wine. Everyone, simmer down. If you feel the need to be strongly medicated or loaded in some way to be around a person or particular environment, your body is telling you it is not for you.
If you’re curious how someone feels about you, consider how much time and energy they invest in you. People express their care in different ways, and many times it will be in ways you can’t see.
Not everyone is interested in all your musings and niche hobbies. Find different people to talk to about different things.
Every physical body you encounter has a boatload of problems. Yes, even the beautiful people on Instagram. Everyone is insecure to some extent. We’re all in this together.
Different personas are super healthy to have. Your professional self and personal self can be two different people. The workplace doesn’t need to know the real you. You aren’t inauthentic for this.
Grasp the concept of “feeling” vs. “doing”. It can be really good for you to simultaneously be feeling 600 different feelings and want to explode yet still do nothing.
The most beautiful souls can come in the ugliest of packaging. Take this as you will.
Thank good people for letting you experience them. Most characters in your story are not meant to make it to the last page. They are not bad or wrong for this. They can be fantastic and still not meant to be in your life. When you reflect on all the different people who have entered your life, make sure you remember these people first. Your gratitude will generate more good people to enter your life.
Be patient with small children. Your generosity and understanding towards them at a young age will prevent tons of potential future psychological issues.
For just as much as someone is a villain in your story, you might be a villain in theirs. If you ever find this out, apologize accordingly. Even better: You might be someone’s secret hero.
Think about all the good you might have done in the world that you have no idea about.